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By Metal Djinn
#146533
I've never felt the need to r/gatekeep in my life until I met Saphira.
This post is centered around what Saphira seems to enjoy and has never argued against enjoying.
The Eragon Movie.
That movie is the closest I've come to getting an abortion as I do own it.

I actually own everything Eragon. All four books, the crappy DS game, a PS2 game (I think... idfk), and the movie. How sad is it that the DS game is more accurate than the movie? At least Saphira has dragon wings in the game and doesn't look like the unholy offspring between a Wyvern and a Quetzalcoatl.
The movie gives zero regards for the source material. Every single time Paolini described Saphira he at least mentioned her bat-like wings and the veins you could see in them. The city under the mountain is just full of black people for some reason. Guess they didn't wanna blow their budget on midgets in armor.
Everything about Brom was practically adlibbed. Eragon for some reason wore denim jeans in a medieval society? Nothing about Eragon's cousin or his future wife. The fucking elf Arya... Jesus they slaughtered everything about her and just made her a damsel even though in the books she was literally more badass than Eragon.
In the movie, she was basically useless. Until MAYBE the last book she was hundreds of times more badass than Eragon, Eragon being the ultimate knight and a literal prophecy incarnate.
And all this crap about Zaroc. Eugh...

Saphira... if you see this. Get some class and change your pic from that crap abortion of a movie to some decent fanart of Saphira the dragon.
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By Metal Djinn
#146534
That's just continuity issues.
Let's not mention how "Eragon" always had his eyes and mouth wide open in every scene. That's a telltale sign of a bad actor.
Brom was too damn dramatic.
Arya was inaccurate and completely useless.
DUDE DURZA! I forgot about that crappy last fight. Sure... It was an "Okay" fight scene. A fight scene between a dragon made of "Dark magic" clouds and Saphira. Which according to every magical rule Paolini put in his books is a spell 100% impossible to anyone below the raw magical talent and mystic reserves of Galbatorix himself. Maybe... if Eragon had taken all of the Eldunari, Saphira, and every Elf alive, he could have manifested a cloud capable of fighting.
Oh and the disgrace that was the Urgals. No horns, no muscle. Just tall bald dudes with bad tribal makeup and fake tans.
Oh and the absolute disgrace that was Ra'Zac. In the books, Eragon like... third book managed to kill them. They kinda just got singled in the movie. Seriously. These things are the absolute peak of all assassin's. They are born to be such. They weren't crafted by Durza, they were barely kinda loyal to him because he was a scary dude. Even then. In the books, they got a respectful sendoff kinda. Because they weren't distractions to present one scene of drama and a single fight. The Ra'Zac were at least intimidating.

Oh and let's not speak of how they slaughtered every single spell in the books and made up new ones with words in the book that had no correlation. It's kinda like the director briefly skimmed the books, threw them in a fireplace, said "I don't get paid enough to be accurate" and took a shit on the ashes.

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